Online Talks

Soul Connections 11 - Healing Rejection

November 25, 2011

Shivani talks about: The elder child feels rejected when a baby is born and can create energy of hatred towards the sibling which can stay as a sanskar even after the children grow up. Parents need to heal the rejection of the elder child.

and much more...

Comments

# Mary (Moderator) 2018-05-10 17:15

A slogan of the Brahma Kumaris is “Don’t give sorrow; don’t take sorrow.” We all know it is wrong to give sorrow to another living being. But we often ignore our spiritual responsibility to not take sorrow from the words or actions of others. We each have to make our own decisions based on what we feel is best. If we do what someone else wants, we will not respect ourselves and we will then blame the other person for our feeling low. Through Raja Yoga we learn to understand our own needs and desires, follow our own values and principles, and take responsibility for our own happiness. This is a lot to take on, and fortunately the Supreme Soul helps because He wants us to be free, responsible and happy.

# Monika 2018-05-01 10:23

Hello sister,
Meri shadi ko 5 sal ho gye h.aur mere ek 3 sal ki beti h.mere husband bat bat par gussa krte h jaise agar pen bhi na chal rha ho to gussa kr k gali nikalne lagte h.aur mujhe bahut jhagada karte h k mene 5 minutes bhi late kyon kiya unko lgta h k wife ki sari responsibility hoti h bacche ko dekhna aur unke pati k aage piche ghumna.isliye wo beti ko bhi bilkul time nhi dete.hume bahar lekar jate h ghumate h kyonki ye unko pasand hai.wo mujhe akele kahi travel nhi krne dete ghar se bahar nhi nikalne dete.even mere parents k pas bhi nhi jate dete.jab bhi mere parents pareshani me hote h jaise meri mother hospitalized hui to unke pas unko dekhne ya khana banane k liye bhi koi nhi tha to bhi wo mujhe jane ko nhi kahte aur meri unke gusse k dar se man ki bat kahne ya unse puchne ki himmat bhi nhi hoti ya mere mayke me kuch bade function hota h to ya to mana kar diya jata h aane ko.mere parents k aane par mujhse jhagda krte h unko ghumane k paise bhi unse mangne ko kahte h.me ek educated lady hu.mgr ab ghar me mera dam ghutta h.mere sas sasur hamare bich kuch nhi bolte.meri bacchi par bhi iska asar pad raha h.ab jb bhi mere husband mujhse acche se bat krte h to mera man nhi hota unse jyada bat krne ka.me unki respect nhi kar pa rahi hu.me unke dar se sab kam 100% krne ki koshish karti hu par apni iccha ya man ki bat unse share bhi nhi kr sakti.beti par bhi kabhi kabhi unka gussa nikal jata h.aur stress ki vajah se utrus me bhi problem hone lagi h.sister please help me

# Mary (Moderator) 2018-03-29 16:15

Thinking, remembering, recognizing, understanding are all functions of the soul, the inner being of light. However, the soul uses the brain to store and process information. If parts of the brain are missing or damaged, then the soul will have difficulty in even the simple tasks of daily life. Your doctor would be the best one to help you understand what is happening in your brain. However, you can focus on developing the qualities of the soul – peace, love, purity, bliss. This is done through meditation. You can either visit a Brahma Kumaris centre or you can listen to meditation commentaries online from a Brahma Kumaris website. The more you nourish the soul, the better you will be able to cope with the limite capacities of the brain.

# Savi 2018-03-27 23:34

I have brain cancer I have brain surgery some time my brain no work I don't know what I do what I did what I doing I can understand let me know what I fix this issue

# Vishal 2017-10-16 11:05

Depression and career

# Mary (Moderator) 2017-10-02 22:22

Raja yoga meditation is a process of looking within and seeing the qualities, the light and the beauty of the soul. From that place of inner radiance, we connect with our supremely loving Spiritual Father. Raja yoga meditation helps us realize that we are souls and the bodies are our vehicles. The bodies are extremely important because through them we express the beauty and truth of the soul. Raja yoga meditation helps us appreciate the body without trying to change it, and use it in ways that bring peace and joy to the self and the world

# Chitra 2017-10-01 14:53

hi sister,
Me and my husband have been married for 14 years now with 2 kids. We live in a joint family with his parents as well. Whenever I disagree with him or complain about his mother or him not sharing any household responsibilities (since I am a working woman), he starts giving me silent treatment. This has been going on for few years now and every time this silent treatment lasts for a month to few months.. no amount of begging or even trying to initiate a conversation hasn't helped. For the past few months he has again shut me off and doesn't want to discuss the reasons for his behavior. No amount of family intervention has also helped. After repeated requests he just said that he is tired of my complaints or added pressure on him to share household responsibilities. And also says he's done with this and has come out of the marriage (although not legally separated).
It just shattered me and tore me apart! Counseling for myself did help me to handle the situation.. however he is not ready to come for counseling. how do I make him unload his emotional baggage and try to restart our married life again? I am waiting to hear from him for the past 1 year!! Whenever I try talking to him, he says he can't even consider Loki g at my face since he gets back all the negativity he has for me whenever he looks at me!
Recently he has found a interest in someone when he had gone to trek in Kashmir. After coming back from there he is in complete depression!! He doesn't talk, smile or even play with kids.. apparently we also found a suicide note in his cupboard written a month back!
I love him so much to the end of earth! I want to help him understand that I have started mending my ways and as well as changing myself to the better.
I rally's ant to save my marriage and get back my husbands love. I also quit my job and an excellent career to correct my married life!!Thinking of kids future I dread leaving him..

Please advice

# Mary (Moderator) 2017-10-09 19:26

We want to help the people we love and it is difficult when they do not accept our help. However, no one can change unless he or she wants to change and sees a good reason to change. As you take good care of yourself and make good decisions for the well-being of the family, you will be a good role model for your children. You can teach your children how to communicate clearly, setting a good example by responding warmly to their attempts at good communication. If your husband is not ready to speak with you directly, he can learn by watching. You can still speak to him, even if he chooses not to respond. Keep a positive attitude so that others can learn from you. As the harmony in the home increases, your husband may feel comfortable enough to speak. Even if he doesn’t, other family members will appreciate your positive energy.

# Poonam 2017-09-27 18:16

Om Shanti...I am 42 yrs old female..having facial Hyperpigmentation since past 3 yrs...I have done basic course from one of Baba's centres.Will meditation with guided imagery help or any other piece of advice or guidance for me.

# Mary (Moderator) 2017-09-24 17:39

It is wonderful that you are trying to control the mind, but remember to guide it with love and patience. I would suggest that you and your son accept whatever emotions you are having with love. Understand that we have been different genders in different births, so don’t worry if you have attachment to being a particular gender. Meditation and the practice of enjoying being a soul and being soul conscious helps one stabilize in one’s core qualities. As all your beautiful core qualities are naturally in the soul, they do not change with a preference to a gender or a change of gender. So, perhaps do not worry about this gender issue so much, but do what is comfortable for you and see a therapist if you are conflicted about it. But, mostly, enjoy your naturally beautiful qualities as a soul, and be light about your gender preference. Meditate every day … be light, and know that you are God’s beloved child.

# Niharika 2017-09-05 14:47

Can u please how to control mind when we have gender disphoria. Please record a video on it. There r so many succidal happening everywhere in the world. My son is facing this too. Please help me in this

# Mary (Moderator) 2017-08-17 22:20

The best way to start is to take a course so that you receive step-by-step instruction by an experienced meditator. You can enquire about meditation courses at the Brahma Kumaris Centre near you. If you are not sure where that is, you can check the Centre Locator tab on this website.

# PUJA 2017-08-02 17:19

how can i will start meditation.

# Mary (Moderator) 2017-05-19 16:39

Helping a child develop healthy and positive sanskars is a wonderful aim for a parent. The Brahma Kumaris offer many courses in developing good sanskars – Positive Thinking, Overcoming Anger, Stress Free Living, True Self Esteem, etc. If your parenting responsibilities do not allow you to attend a class, you can find some of these courses online. As you develop your own positive sanskars, you will be able to guide your daughter to do the same. In her infancy, you can help her shape good sanskars by allowing her to join you when you practice meditation, and by maintaining a peaceful and harmonious atmosphere in the home.

# Rohini Sharma 2017-05-17 10:35

Om Shanti. I have an 8th month old daughter. I wish to induce such sanskars in her so as to help her become a stable minded individual making the most of human life. Kindly advice if Brahma Kumaris offer such courses.

# Mary (Moderator) 2017-05-06 23:40

Raja Yoga Meditation helps us become more table and peaceful. The brain supports the soul during meditation practice, and eventually the brain learns ways to automatically maintain a higher level of calm. In some forms of mental illness, or due to some medications for mental illness, the brain does not respond to meditation in standard ways. The brain may even respond in ways that are harmful. This is why doctors sometimes say that meditation should not be practiced by people who are being treated for mental illness. In the case of your wife, it may be possible for her to practice having peaceful and positive thoughts, which is the first step in meditation. Check if your doctor is familiar with this practice and can suggest a practice that would be beneficial for your wife. If your doctor is not familiar with meditation practices, you might want to see if there is another doctor who is more knowledgeable in this area. Raja Yoga Meditation cannot treat mental illness. We always recommend that people follow the doctor’s advice in attempting meditation when mental illness is involved.

# chitte chintaman 2017-05-03 11:20

SISTER PRANAM,I HAVE PROBLEM THAT MY WIFE HAS MENTAL ILLNESS NAMELY SPHYNOFENIA WHICH TREATMENT HAS CONTINUE BUT DOCTORS ARE NOT ALLOWED HER FOR MEDITATION AND ALSO SAYS THAT, IT WILL FOR LIFE TIME TREATEMET. THERE IS NO CHANCE FOR CURE IF TREATEMET(MEDICINE)WILL STOPPED. WHAT WE DO.
IS IT POSSIBLE CURE THE MENTAL ILLNESS BY RAJYOG AND MEDITIONS
PLEASE GUIDE US.

CHITTE CHINTAMAN
AYODHYA NAGAR
NR. RLY STATION
AMALNER 425401
MOB-94215 19163

THANKS.
OM SHANTI OM SHANTI

# Mary (Moderator) 2017-02-03 15:36

Love is an intrinsic energy of a soul, an energy that the soul can use to sustain itself and also to connect with others. When our love feels depleted, we turn to others to supply us with love. This makes relationships difficult and unfulfilling. In Raja Yoga we learn a method of connecting with the Supreme Soul whose love is always pure, benevolent and available. When we are strong in love ourselves, we can enter into healthy loving relationships with others.

# lissa 2017-01-10 13:08

Hello, please help me in finding my inner self. who I really am, what I want to do with my life and love me for me. I am 25 years old have been in disappointing relationships. had one when I was 17 which lasted for close to six years then I felt betrayed and ended it when I realized that the guy had been in another relationship separate from ours for 2yrs. Recently I was dating a separated guy who told me his wife had left him for a year,the guy is 37. A few weeks ago I found out that he was getting back together with his wife and ended things. I was hurt felt rejected and have been using meditation as a way of healing. I have decided to take a break from relationships this whole year and try to focus on myself.

# Balram 2016-10-26 17:43

Mediation in morning 4 o clk bath is necessary or otherwise

# Mary (Moderator) 2016-10-27 19:22

We generally sit in meditation at 4:00 am, and then bathe.

# Nimesh Trivedi 2016-10-19 18:37

Om Shanti sister Bk Shivani Didi

I would like discuss my current situation with you . I need positive power . if possible so didi help me out of this situation
Thank you
Om Shanti ||

# Mary (Moderator) 2016-10-27 19:25

These videos were made at a previous time and are now being viewed around the world on various websites. Sister Shivani is not present to speak with people personally. If there is a Brahma Kumaris centre close to you, you can speak with a BK teacher there. The teachers at your centre study the same spiritual knowledge that Sister Shivani studies.

# poonamalee malika 2016-10-13 03:42

I am moving to Florida (orlando) would like to continue gyan both in Tampa and Orlando
Om Shanti

# Mary (Moderator) 2016-10-27 19:26

You will be happy to know that there are Brahma Kumaris centers in both Tampa and Orlando. Sister Shireen, who you may have seen in some of these online talks, manages the Tampa center. You can look at the centre locator in the upper right hand corner of the Home Page to get contact information for those two centers.

# duh 2016-10-12 15:31

How to set peace in mind of an anger person?

# Mary (Moderator) 2016-10-27 19:26

Overcoming anger is something that we each have to do for ourselves. However, we can create an atmosphere that helps other people to stay peaceful. To do this, we must diligently practice peace. The phrase “Om shanti” means “I am a peaceful soul.” This is an eternal truth. In the Brahma Kumaris, we say “Om shanti” silently to the self frequently during the day, and let the feeling and understanding of being a peaceful soul circulate throughout our consciousness. We often practice this before performing an action, and then hold this consciousness during the action. Over time, the inner feeling of peace strengthens, so much that we are not very much influenced by disturbances around us. Also, if we intentionally practice this for longer periods of time, we can create an atmosphere of peace that affects other people, and allows them to feel relaxed inside.

# SANU 2016-10-12 05:51

i was in a so called relationship with a girl of my age ( age 22 ). i am a medical student. But from the beginning she was always attracted to other men. At times she also ignored me. She instead rejected me the first time i committed my feelings for her....but aftr few months she herself approached me. i thought she might have changed and i accepted her.But i was wrong...she went on her chit chats and all sorts of things with other men...and whenever i wanted to clarify ..she used to say ." u r a kind of boy who will never understand anything...i dont to live with people who restricts me or controls me..i want to be free " . I didnt impose any restrictions upon her ..i wanted a faithfull relationship ...have i demanded more ??? she has "dont care"feeling for me....whether i talk to her or not it doesnt really matter to her. My friends adviced me to quit the relationship.. but i am facing problem as my feelings ..my emotions were strongly truthfully and devotedly meant for her. I am facing problems in concentrating in my studies also because of her. Enough of tears i have shed ...coudnt find what to do and how to do..please help .

# Mary (Moderator) 2016-10-27 19:27

When we get involved in painful relationships, there is often some pull from our past that is keeping us there. The pull may be old habits of misjudging, or it could be old karmic patterns. Either way, the best thing to do is to create new, healthy ways of being in relationships. This starts with taking an assessment. You mentioned that you have shed lots of tears and your studies are suffering. How would you like to feel? What would you like to gain from your studies? Both your present state of well-being and your future professional life need some attention right now. They can’t get that attention when your emotions are draining your energy. Perhaps, with great love and sensitivity, you could step away from the relationship for a little while to ask yourself what would be best for you. This takes a lot of courage and faith in the self. When you have some clear answers, you will feel calmer inside and better able to concentrate.

# rakesh 2016-10-06 05:24

i.am suffering from acute depression.mental tension.Please help me to get out of it.

# Mary (Moderator) 2016-10-27 19:29

These kinds of conditions need to be diagnosed by a mental health professional. While meditation can often help, it needs to be pursued as part of an overall program that may also include counseling and/or medication. It is best to consult a doctor, psychologist or counselor, and discuss the possibility of using meditation with your health care professional.

# sanjeeta 2016-10-05 19:01

Om Shanti i m watching your show I want guidance from you.I have only son of 13 years and he doesnt study teachers complain that he is disturbing the whole class doent complete his homework.doesnt allow me to open his bag to check his books.Teachers keep on calling me every now and then to tell about his deeds in the class or for non completing of his homework.All the time he will be either in front of TV or else on mobile which he forced me to purchase for him. Even if i m preparing food of his choice he likes to eat chinese food or food from hotels.Further my husband is short tempered and for silly things he will shout at me and my son.Further if i dont give to my son what he wants he will resort to such tactics such as trying to tie rope around his neck or taking knife near the neck and trying to threaten that he will kill himself.All these irritate me and I also become impatient and express my anger and i feel dipressed very much.Pl help me to tackle this situation and my son which i feel that he should be a good citizen of india.

# Mary (Moderator) 2016-10-27 19:28

13 year old boys go through many internal changes which can make them impulsive, moody and unstable. They need parental guidance that is both loving and firm. The parents may sometimes respond to the children by being annoyed or fearful. This can further confuse the child. If your son has become unmanageable in the home and at school, you might want to consult a child specialist. A specialist can help your son manage his feelings and help you and your husband create guidelines and consequences for his behavior. Each family member can contribute to a higher level of harmony and peace in the home. You can take the first steps towards this. It might take a little time and patience for your husband and son to understand the importance of their contributions.

# Ankita 2016-10-04 10:14

Om shanti..sister my mother is having some sort of skin problems I want to know that how can I use water to heal her..I want to know how to charge water for healing

# Mary (Moderator) 2016-10-27 19:31

The Brahma Kumaris do not practice water healing. Sorry – we cannot help you with this.

# varsha 2016-10-04 06:49

Lately my family has going through a lot, i don't want to sound negative but there is no way for me to be positive. My brother is on the verge of being divorced, his wife and daughter has been gone for more than 2 months now. My brother is suffering from all sorts of health issues since then like heart ache, stone, jaundice, dengue, stomach infections, his work has gone down. my father mother sister no one is happy with other problems as well, It is taking a toll on me and i've started to get really angry like anger fit. I've had anger issues before but i managed to improve but now i can't seem to handle whenever i feel the rage burning through me. Also I am confused when i get mad at something that is this genuine or i'm getting unreasonable. Please help me.

# Mary (Moderator) 2016-10-27 19:32

It is very difficult to watch the suffering of loved ones and not get involved. However, the more we suffer along with them, the less capable we are of extending any genuine help. When our family members are suffering, they are not able to create their own peaceful, positive and loving thoughts. Their energy gets completed depleted. Out of love for them, we need to detach from their problems and recognize that they need to resolve their own issues. However, we can help by being a positive influence. Visualize the family problems being resolved. Do not discuss the problems with others; just focus your energy on positive outcomes. Encourage your family members to stop being thinking and speaking about your brother’s difficulties, as negative energy only makes the situation worse. See yourself as an agent of peace. Practice feeling peaceful inside, and practice sending peaceful thoughts to your family members.

# aruna 2016-09-21 08:18

I want to be a part of a bhrama kumari

# BK Mary 2016-09-28 17:56

The Brahma Kumaris organization is a spiritual university. Anyone can study spiritual knowledge with the Bks, as much as they like. The first step is to take the basic introductory course. It only takes seven days. You can arrange a course at a center near you. From there, you can take intermediate ad advanced courses, and then attend class every day if you like! Best wishes for your studies.

# vineetha 2016-09-19 20:06

Dear sister Shivani, I have been watching your video Healer within in youtube. Unfortunately video no. 36 is missing. Can you please sent me the video 36 to my email.

# BK Mary 2016-09-28 18:02

Number 36 has not yet been made public. It may be made public at a later date. Keep looking at the list from time to time to see if number 36 has been posted.

# Meghna Kamani 2016-09-07 13:44

OM SHANTI......I want to overcome stress and anger internally which is blocking me to move ahead in my life in all sense. It is all because of divorce of my marriage with in eight months and it was my and my spouse decision to marry but acceptable by all. My parents were not happy but they scarificed for me.Now I feeling guilt every now and then and getting angry as due to none of the fault on my part I faced physical torture, mental torture, taunting, harassment, etc from my in laws and husband and at last they left me at my fathers place ending up in divorce...I feel regret why cant I was not able to justify my self and this anger turns up in tears every now and then pls help me in mental stress of notable level.

# Mary (Moderator) 2016-09-16 19:01

Divorce is indeed a serious trauma and it is bound to evoke stress and anger. It is important to realize that even with the best of intentions we sometimes make wrong decisions. Everyone makes wrong decisions, and we can learn valuable lessons from them. Now that the marriage is over, it is important to not carry the trauma of that eight months into the future. You can create new stories about yourself and your life, and even be able to look at your past in new ways. This all begins with understanding that you are a soul, a divine being, and a child of the Supreme Soul. The more you can see yourself this way, the more you can forgive yourself (and others) for bad decisions of the past, and focus your energy on creating a better future. The Brahma Kumaris offer a 7 Days Course in Raja Yoga that explains how to think as a spiritual being and take control of your thoughts. You can learn how to let go of thoughts that cause you to suffer and create thoughts that are empowering. With the knowledge of Raja Yoga, you can make steady progress towards feeling better about yourself and creating a worthwhile life for yourself. The anger may be with you for a while, but it will not control you. You, the beautiful soul, will win over the anger in the end.

# pintu sharma 2016-08-29 13:06

i want to learn rajyoga but i want to talk about it

regards
pintu sharma
jammu

# Mary (Moderator) 2016-09-16 19:02

There is a Centre Locator button on the top right corner of the Home Page. Find a centre close to you. A teacher there can discuss the course with you.

# Vijay 2016-08-24 16:42

I want to talk

# Meenu Agarwal 2016-08-24 04:51

Om Shanti. I love watching your various conversations. I want to meditate and know what is real nirvana and how it can be achieved. How and what Mathama Budha could discover when he achieved bodhi .

# Mary (Moderator) 2016-09-16 19:06

My experience is with Raja Yoga meditation, which is a little different from the Buddha’s path. However, the concepts of nirvana and bhodi are somewhat universal. Nirvana is a place of absolute peace, bliss and silence. In Raja Yoga, this is considered to be the “permanent home” of the soul and also the place of residence of the Supreme Soul. The soul cannot go to this place until it has finished its journey on Earth. However, in Raja Yoga meditation, one can turn the attention towards this place and have an experience of being there. This is a nice antidote to the stress and uncertainty of life in the world. Bhodi refers to an awakened consciousness. One can have this in the midst of an ordinary life, by practicing the awareness that we are the invisible, eternal spiritual beings inside the body, looking out at the world through the eyes. In Raja Yoga we call this heightened awareness soul consciousness. A soul is a being of peace, love, bliss, purity and power. So, bodhi, or soul consciousness, means to stay awake to my spiritual nature, use my spiritual qualities in daily life, and give myself some time each day to step away from the business of life and enjoy the tranquility within.

# gaurav kumar jha 2016-08-23 12:32

my mind never remains stable.from last ten years i practice kundalini yoga. i understand its value to me,but for a long time i was unable to keep bramachariya.i am also addicted to bhang,which if i dont eat i make disturbance to my family. i am not married and never will be.after eating bhang i feel that yoga can be done easily,and for a long time,what should i do?

# Mary (Moderator) 2016-09-16 19:07

Raja Yoga meditation is the practice of controlling the mind through understanding how it functions, accumulating spiritual power, and diligently and peacefully guiding the mind in positive directions. To fully succeed at this, one would need to be free from habitual use of addictive substances. Full success would mean that the mind stays fairly peaceful and positive most of the time, and when negative emotions come, their energy passes without causing harm to the self or others. It is best to have a qualified teacher to guide you. You would also need to gradually reduce your consumption of bhang. Yes, when you are under its influence, it may seem that you can do many things easily. But that is an illusion. Your mental abilities are actually blocked then. One needs a clear and clean mind to take up meditation.

# Suhani singh 2016-08-16 06:49

I hv a child of 5 years.my husband and in-laws don't care and love me because I hv girl child.I am living with my mom dad bhai bhabhi,bt except my dad nobudy wants that I live here,even m a government teacher,only I live here and no responsibilities.now a days I feel very tense.seems like my energy level is zero.I want to give my daughter a bright future so I want to get rid of all my fears and tension.I want to be brave and strong.please give some advice.

# Mary (Moderator) 2016-09-16 19:11

It’s a beautiful goal to give your daughter a bright future even though the present seems a little dark for you. As you become strong and clear about who you are, you will be able to transmit that strength and clarity to your daughter. Inside each human body is a soul, a tiny sparkling star, which is neither male nor female. We humans have the tendency to give value to each other based on the type of body. But Raja Yoga teaches us that all souls are beautiful, immeasurably valuable children of God. Through Raja Yoga meditation we practice this perspective. We connect with the Supreme Soul, absorb love and power, and slowly gain self respect and self confidence. Others may see us very differently but we stand firm on the awareness that we are souls and children of God. It might be very energizing to expose yourself to this spiritual knowledge. It is offered free of charge at Brahma Kumaris centers. Once your energy returns, you can use it to rid yourself of fears and tensions, and invest your energy in creating a happy and positive future for your daughter.

# Arvind and Prafula Patel 2016-08-14 22:17

We are in canada and want to buy your book which you discuss on tv at your talk in the mroning evry day please help us where to find your book Kind greetings Patels

# Anu Jha 2016-08-10 07:44

Om Shanti! I often watch your conversations on Peace of Mind. last few weeks after listening to one of your episodes I am trying to do selfless worship but as a repercussion I HAVE STOPPED WORSHIPING SOME goddess like " Lakhmi / Swaraswati) and more or less I am becoming mechanical . Please suggest.
Om Shanti

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